How Do I Heal from Betrayal?

Read Psalm 41

Psalm 41:9 (ESV)

⁹ Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.

You will never find Judas on a list of most popular baby names. Tell me the last time you met someone with that name. It’s more likely that you’ve been warned, “Don’t be a Judas.”

When Jesus sat at the last supper with his disciples he reached across the table and handed a piece of bread to the one he knew would betray him. He also washed the feet of that man. This blows my mind.

Jesus spent three years teaching, discipling, and pouring into a relationship with Judas? Judas witnessed all the miracles and had a front row seat to the Son of God! How did Judas respond? He traded Jesus in for 30 pieces of silver.  

Judas was the treasurer for Jesus. He was the overseer of the money and the one responsible for distributing the finances to help the poor and needy. We’ll later learn in John 12:6 that everyone knew Judas was stealing from the purse. The true heart of Judas was revealed when Jesus’ feet were anointed with expensive perfume at Bethany. Judas jumped up and protested that the perfume could have been sold and used for better purposes. “What a waste!” he proclaimed. (Matthew 26:8, John 12:4-6)

Think about that statement for a second. When a woman poured expensive oil on his rabbi, he essentially shouts, “Don’t waste that on him. He’s not worth it!” Yes, Jesus knows what the sting of betrayal feels like. He knows the pain that is caused when a person who you thought was close to you reveals their true feelings about you.

The sting of betrayal can cause you to put up walls. It can make you fearful of all future relationships. You may find yourself doing everything in your power to keep people at a safe distance. And it's easily justified. You are simply trying to protect yourself from pain that you never want to feel again.

Jesus knows how you feel. He felt it.  

He was betrayed. He was arrested. He was beaten. He was crucified. He knows the sting of it all. But consider this...

Betrayal, for Jesus, became the breakthrough.

Jesus knew betrayal was a necessary step in his greater purpose. In John 13:27 Jesus looks at Judas and says, “What you are about to do, do it quickly.” Betrayal meant death for Jesus, but his resurrection couldn’t have happened without it! It was through the resurrection of Jesus that salvation is made available to all who believe! (Romans 10:9)

And that, my friends, is how you heal from betrayal! Understand that there is LIFE on the other side of pain.

Learn from Jesus and view the pain of betrayal as a necessary step toward new life. It’s not easy, I know. It takes time…so ask the Lord to take the journey with you. Remember, he knows how you feel.

Oh Jesus, I’m hurting. I never thought I would be let down by someone who said they loved me. How did you get through it? Please lead me. I know you understand.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Josh Huisman is the senior pastor of Crosswalk Church in Brentwood, TN.

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