When Friendships End

Psalm 55:12a, 13-14

For it is not my enemy who reproaches me, then I could bear it...but it was you, a man my equal. My companion and my acquintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God in the throng.

Life can sometimes bring about unexpected heartbreak. One of the most painful are friendships that come to an end for seemingly no reason. Regretful words are said, painful actions are taken, and feelings are hurt. A betrayal takes place.

In spite of best efforts, the friendship can never be the same.

The deepest hurts we experience in life often don't come from people we don't know, but from those we thought we knew the most. Those closest to us. The ones we shared life with. The ones we confided in and shared many a meal together. The ones who were aware of our strengths and weaknesses, our fears and failures, and in some cases, our dreams in life.

In Psalm 55 David refers to these friends as the ones who once walked alongside us, took "sweet counsel together," and were spiritual "companions and acquintances."

When your heart is broken by a spiritual companion, and a friendship ends when you least expect it, it is wise to not let the heartbreak lead to bitterness and unforgiveness.

How can you find forgiveness in the midst of pain?

Instead of dwelling on the hurt caused by betrayal, devote yourself to daily prayer for the person. Ask the Lord to give you a heart that sees that person through His eyes. Pray God's future blessings and guidance for them. Life may be taking you and them in different directions, but your prayer is for God to walk alongside them on their way. As Numbers 6:24-26 prays:

"The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, the Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give you peace."

This is hard...But in time this will lead your heart to forgiveness. This is the right thing to do, in God's eyes.

When it comes to forgivenness, in some cases God may restore the relationship, and what a testimony to His goodness that would be!

But please hear me, forgiveness does not always have to result in the restoration of the friendship. There are times when God shows us that the best thing for both sides is to pursue new paths apart from one another. That is okay.

But the most important step is to pray for a heart of forgiveness. Carrying the hurt of spiritual betrayal on your new path is a burden too heavy for your back. Soon the weight will break you. Unload the heaviness at the foot of the cross.

Leave it at the cross and move on. The betrayal of a close companion may hurt the most, but truly forgiving them in your heart is the only way to ensure it won't hurt forever!

Josh Huisman is the senior pastor of New Hope Community Church in Brentwood, TN.

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